How to Beat Depression and Anxiety? Maybe “All You Need Is Love”

When you are trying to beat depression and anxiety, both the worrying and the numbness often share a common source; a helpless feeling that you can not accept, and you'll never be able to. Whether you are so anxious you can not breathe, or are lost in a cloud of darkness, there is one simple thing that can give you a lifeline. Smashed down as it may be, that one thing is your own ability to love.

I am not trying to make light of how serious both anxiety and depression can be by giving you a simplistic answer. But research already attests that our attitudes impact our emotions, and love sort of tops the positive attitudes list. It's not a new idea.

It was 50 years ago today …

Many of us in the US are celebrating an anniversary this month, fifty years since the Beatles made their American television debut. Of course, they were already on their way to changing rock and roll history when they arrived here, but their appearance certainly changed the lives of thousands of teenagers, including mine.

Few of us may ever have that sort of culture changing power, but influence like that does not happen by chance. That kind of legacy is for people with something important to say.

“All you need is love.”

Okay, on the surface it sounds a little pie-in-the-sky. After all, love is not going to pay the bills, find you a job, calm your stress, or stop the throbbing in your head. Or will it?

If we think of love not as a romantic fantasy, but as the underlying basis of one's life, it could change everything we do, as well as the anxiety or depression we struggle to overcome.

First, love yourself. Realize your worth. Embrace your humanity. Give yourself the nurture you need, and care for yourself with love. Forgive your foibles, and congratulate yourself for your successes, no matter how insignificant you think they are.

If we are depressed because we feel worthless, then even the tiniest difference we can make by looking at ourselves with love, is an opening we can use to break free.

Second, love other people, warts and all. Would people stress you out so much if they were not such a pain? Well they are. We all are. And we need to cut each other some slack. Surprise, you can control how aggravating people are by looking at them with love.

Quantum physics says the act of observing sub-atomic particles changes how the particles behave. It is not a stretch to realize that forgiving other people, and treating them with love actually changes their behavior, too. Maybe it just changes how we feel. Either way it means less anxiety and relationship stress.

Open yourself up to supportive relationships. People may care about you more than you know. You have a better chance to beat depression with a little help from your friends.

Third, love the little things in life. Simple pleasures are all around us. Sights, sounds, tastes, silly pet tricks, little mishaps that make you laugh, are all good reasons to cherish small moments in ordinary days.

If you jump through your memories, which ones make you smile? Some earth shaking event? Chances are your favorite memories are of shared moments with people that you cared about. Look around you and acknowledge that these are the moments and people that you will recall in years to come, and enjoy the time you have now.

Fourth, love something vast and wonderful. It could be a vista, an image of the cosmos, or whatever you define as God. Somewhere there is something beyond yourself that has the ability to knock your socks off. Something so grand and overpowering that your anxiety and depression disappear in its immensity. Something that lets you know you are not alone. When you find it, cherish it, rest in it, and let it bring you joy.

Fifth, love that you're alive. As bad as you think today is, as hopeless or helpless as you sometimes feel, change can always happen. You can still break through the darkness. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to grow calmer with every breath.

When you decide to make love the driving force in your life, it becomes easier to make the behavior changes you need to beat depression and anxiety. You can exercise, meditate, eat good food, and reach out for help if you need it. Every step will take you further when it is grounded in positive energy.

That's why The Beatles were right. To find your positive energy, “love IS all you need.”

All You Need Is Love, music and lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

Interested in pop music history? Try: SHOUT! The Beatles in Their Generation, by Philip Norman.

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How To Boost Self Confidence And Beat Depression: Ask a Few Simple Questions

When you're depressed it's hard to have any confidence, and the less confident you are, the more you can get depressed. Asking yourself some simple questions, however, can boost your confidence, and help you beat depression by changing your point of view.

“Why not me? Why not us?”

US football fans may have heard these questions a lot laTely. They are the questions quarterback Russell Wilson asked himself at the very beginning of this past season, when he gazed out at an impossible looking target called The Superbowl.

To listen to the sportscaster tell it, Wilson came to the Seattle Seahawks after being chosen pretty much down in the draft picks. As a rookie, there were no guarantees that he would even get the quarterback job. He was considered too small, and not powerful enough to lead a winning team.

“I've been told a ton of times if I was just two inches taller, I'd be a great prospect,” “Wilson told writer Peter King back in July 2012.

Now those two inches mean nothing. Wilson has led the Seahawks to their first ever Superbowl win, up against one of the best quarterbacks and teams to ever play the game. All because he worked hard and kept asking himself “why not me, why not us?”

Ask “Says who?”

When you're depressed it can feel like the sun will never rise again. And when you ask yourself “why not” questions, you mumble something like, “because I'm useless” or “because I can not.” Whateverpondent answers you tell yourself, you can use them to start a new round of questions. Questions that might really make you think.

“Because I'm _____”, whatever. Fill in the blank with whatever your depression says is wrong with you. Then ask, “says who?” Did your parents tell you you'd never be pretty? Did you teachers say you were too lazy or just not smart enough to succeed? Did you get passed over for a promotion? Did you flunk gym? Have you stored up every criticism you've ever received and formed your self-image from what other people said?

If you think “because I could never _____,” well, why not? Have you ever tried? If you tried and think you failed, what is it that can never try again?

To beat your depression and get your confidence moving upward, you can not just blow these questions off with flippant retorts. You need to look deep and try to find what created your poor self image, then make an honest assessment about its truth.

Ask “What do I really want today, and what will I want tomorrow?”

If you are in the throes of depression, curled up in a corner somewhere, what you want today may simply be to left alone so you can sulk in peace. If so, then admit it. But what about tomorrow? How long do you really want to stay this way? If you give it some thought, is not there something you'd rather do that's a lot more fun?

Believe it or not, after a while depression can get kind of boring. So, if you could do anything you wanted tomorrow, what would it be?

Questions alone will not cure depression, but they might get you out of bed. And, if you can get up, you can do anything. If you can take one step, you have all the strength you need. Alone that first step will not beat your depression, but it is the step that gets you going, and gives you the confidence to go on.

Quote source:

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Know These Teenage Depression Facts!

If you are right now the parent of a teenager then I do not have to tell you that they can sometimes be challenging and moody … I'm sorry … did I say SOMETIMES? Seriously though, yes we all know that not all teenagers are moody and difficult but let's definitely agree that the teen years are pretty damn hard on everyone involved. It's not always just moodiness and grunt styled conversation however and some teens can actually slip into a deep depression during this time. As a parent as well as the teenager going through this stage, it is good to know a few of the teenage depression facts that could be affecting them.

Teenage Depression Facts – Causes

Depression is in the strange paradox of being often over diagnosed as well as under diagnosed. That is mainly because there are definite similarities however case by case, depression causes, triggers and treatment is incredibly varied.

With the complexity of teenagers there could be many possible causes of teen depression. Teenagers are growing fast. Their body is changing in so many ways with crazy amounts of hormones rushing around. Incorporate this with the social expectations and indeed pressure put upon themselves to “find themselves” and sort out what, who and why they are going to be in this world and it's definitely a very tough time.

Being aware of teenage depression facts will help you better understand if you or your teenager is just moving through life as normal or actually something more sinister.

Signs of Depression in Teens

Low feelings of self worth and low self esteem is definitely one of the big factors to look out for when it comes to reasons for depression in teens. Is your teenager comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate as a result? This can trigger loneliness, sadness, feeling like a misfit and can open them up to bullying.

Teenage Depression Facts – Too much pressure

Whether or not pressure to succeed academically or on the sporting field is self applied or is originating from parents, teachers or coaches makes no difference. Failure in these areas especially if combined with ridicule, sarcasm or anger can be a huge trigger for depression. The pressure to become better is noble and essential for growth however it must be done correctly and failure to achieve must be addressed carefully and positively.

Teenage Depression Facts – Is home a safe place?

Home should be a sanctuary for everyone. A safe place full of support and love and the a place where you can be yourself without fear, ridicule or persecution. Sadly however, this is not always the case and the family home can actually be the source of depression for many teens. Growing up and finding your way can be tough and especially if the parents of teens are putting too much pressure on their children in one way or another then yes, the family home can trigger depression, low self esteem and more.

Just to cloud teenage depression facts even further, depression is not always triggered by something or someone. Sometimes the cause of teenage depression can be as simple as certain biological imbalances.

Teenage Depression Facts – Symptoms to Look Out For

The good things about teen depression is that the red flags are very easy to spot. Not surprisingly, the better a relationship you have with your teenager, the easier it will be to see these symptoms earlier.

Outside of normal teenage angst, regular bouts of irritability and restlessness is a warning. Constant feelings of hopelessness, sadness including crying and loner behavior, pulling away from friends and family are big red flags.

Significant changes in usual behavior such as sleeping, eating and new sets of friends far different from the normal are potential problem signs. Signs of depression in teenagers can also be observed with extreme fatigue, long sleep hours and a difficulty to concentrate for any stretch of time.

The largest red flag of all is if your teen if frequently talking or thinking about suicide and death. Intervene and get help immediately if this is the case with your teenager!

Several of these signs of teenage depression seem mild and can be quite common. It is not only a difference of behavior that you should look out for but the length of these symptoms. Are they long lying? Are they getting better or worse? The best you can do is pay attention and take extra note of significant differences in patterns of behavior.

Teenage Depression Facts – Seeking Treatment

Long-term depression in teenagers is very severe and at its worse, can lead to self harm and even suicide. Depression in teens causes all matter of complications that can really impact their lives and the lives of those around them.

The good news is that with early intervention, a loving family and an effective support network including teachers, counselors, health professionals and peers, the circle of depression can be broken.

Know your teenager, watch out for the clues and if you believe your teen could be at risk, do not dismiss these teenage depression facts and seek help immediately.

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6 Types of Depression

Understanding the different types is crucial in order to know what solutions you would need in order to aid you in eliminating it.

  1. Major / Clinical

This type of depression is commonly known by people because it is one that shows clear symptoms, unlike mild or even moderate depression which sometimes go unnoticed. It is the classical or what is referred to as clinical depression. A person who has this type of depression gets depressed thoughts and is unable to control it. He stays with being sad for a long period of time and hates himself rather than putting the blame on to others for the way he is. He avoids people and keeps to himself.

  1. Moderate

Moderate depression lies somewhere between mild depression and major depression. The symptoms of moderate depression are usually noticeable and if it is left untreated, it could escalate into a major one.

  1. Mild

Mild depression is the least severe form that a sufferer may experience. The symptoms are mild and so do not cause a major impact on the sufferer. Sufferers of mild depression may experience distress and disruption but often neglect their condition with the assumption that the symptoms are not strictly enough to warrant treatment.

  1. Childhood

As the name suggests, this reflects to depression that surfaced during childhood. Childhood depression can be defined as an illness when the feelings of depression persist and interfere with a child or adolescent's ability to function.

  1. Bipolar

Bipolar depression is also known as manic-depression and refers to a case where the sufferer has large mood swings that ranges from very energetic to extreme lows. Both moods may last for several weeks at a time.

  1. Psychotic

Psychotic depression is one of the most severe kinds of depression. A person suffering from this may experience hallucinations, start to hear voices in his head and then becomes delusional about what is happening. A psychotic breakdown may occur if a person suffering from psychotic depression does not get the necessary help.

Fortunately, depression is an illness that can be cured. There are countless remedies in the market place ranging from expensive consultations to self help books that teachers you how to eliminate depression naturally. In conclusion, what you have just learned in this article is the 6 different types of depression and identified the type of depression you are suffering from. Having a better understanding, you can now make a more educated decision in which type of remedy would assist you.

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What Actually Causes Depression? – The Truth

Causes of Depression:

Depression does not happen due to a single factor; instead it results from a combination of things. The following causes will help you in identifying the factors that are affecting you.

Pessimistic Attitude

Research has shown that people who have low self-esteem and adopt a pessimistic attitude towards life are more prone to becoming depressed. There is even supporting data to prove that some sufferers are depressed because of their pessimistic attitude.

Family History

Genetics is also another cause. It can run across generations since genetics are passed down through generations.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

A cold and dark period of the year such as winter is yet another cause. The lack of sunlight is a causative factor. It is important to note that the reverse is also true: in summer, depression is less likely to occur as light helps to stimulate the brain activity.

Reactive depression is one of the types of depression. It arises from psychological stress, physical struggle or mental exhaustion due to lack of proper rest or sleep over a long period of time. The constant training will slowly wear out a person's nervous system, making the nervous system incapable of functioning properly.

Endogenous depression is also another type of depression. Unlike the above, where there has not been any period of psychological stress, struggle or mental exhaustion, the condition is called endogenous depression. This could be caused by heredity.

Physical conditions

Serious medical conditions like heart disease, cancer, diabetics and HIV can contribute to depression, partly because of the physical stress and tension they put on a human body. These illnesses make the body weaker and lower the body's immune system so making it more susceptible to depression. In some of these cases, the medications used to treat these illnesses cause depression.

Trauma and Stress

Emotional situations such as the breakup of a relationship, death of a loved one can bring on depression as you struggle to tackle the loss psychologically. Some people never fully recover from these emotional traumas andought to seek professional help to overcome the trauma they struggle with.

In conclusion, what you have just learned in this short article is the truth behind depression and the actual underlining causes that contributes to depression. Now that you know the actual underlining causes, it's time to take massive action to eliminate depression once and for all to live the life you really deserve.

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Solving Psychological Problems Through Dream Therapy

All dreamers understand that they have superior information in dreams when they translate their dreams according to the scientific method. They acquire special knowledge.

For example, thanks to the meaning of your dreams you may discover that you are very intelligent, but you are lazy and you are not using your capacities. Your own dreams will give you all the explanations you need.

You will understand what made you have this unique attitude to your extraordinary capacities. Then, you will learn how to develop the parts of your personality that have extraordinary talents, but never had the chance to appear on the conscious surface because they were suffocated by the violent parts of your personality.

You will be able to understand what determines your behavior and how to have a positive attitude in all situations, after understanding your mistakes. Your dreams talk about your life, your mental health, and your behavior.

Your dreams also give you information about the outside world. You can practically read people's minds if you will study the psychological types discovered by Carl Jung and relate this knowledge to the information you have in dreams.

I could complete Jung's research and discover a lot more because I inadvertently obeyed the Divine guidance in dreams, especially after verifying that the unconscious mind discovered by Carl Jung is God's mind. This is a scientific and religious truth. I had to complete the mental health treatment everyone must follow through dream therapy, and prove to the world that God is the dream producer.

I also had to prove to the world that we must obey the divine guidance with humility and gratitude because we are under-developed primates. We live in order to abandon our violent animal nature and discover the power of goodness.

Understanding the dream language representations a new beginning. You have dreams about critical matters that have a decisive impact on your life.

Your dreams reflect what is hurting your psyche and why. You learn how to heal your wounds through knowledge and understanding. This comprehension helps you accept all life challenges with courage and determination.

Most people are inconsequential. Depression, anxiety, neurosis and numerous other mental illnesses are torturing the largest part of the world population.

Everything is camouflaged by indifference and superbity. Those who are protected are totally indeterminate to what happens with those who have no rights because they live on misery. Those who are able to keep their conscience alive besides being influenced by their anti-conscience consider those who are affected by the absurdity that they have inherited as if they were the only absurd individuals of the world.

The truth is that our absurdity is vast. In order to stop being absurd we must follow psychotherapy through dream translation. Everyone needs this treatment. The human absurdity must be tamed and cured.

We must be accused of our world because it is characterized by terrorism, wars, crimes, violence, immorality, poverty, indifference, cruelty, and greed.

Only when our world will be characterized by wisdom and goodness will humanity find sound mental health. Without goodness there is no peace. We depend on peace in order to be reasonable and sensitive. Without peace we are violent.

God teachers us in our dreams how we can completely eliminate our anger and all the wild tendencies we have inherited. Sound mental health depends on goodness, what means that the human race is very far from sound mental health.

Goodness is necessary for numerous reasons. Without compassion, we will never forgive our enemies. The behavior we must have in order to be mentally healthy is totally different from the individuous and cruel behavior imposed by the materialistic, atheistic, and commercial world.

You should have this truth in mind and follow your own path of personal development through dream translation, without imitating the bad examples of the world. Your mission in life is to become a better person and find authentic happiness. You are not alive in order to waste your time with your temporary existence in the material world.

You are alive in order to pass through a process of transformation and stop having negative reactions. This process is indispensable. You have to stop being lazy and use all your capacities.

Through dream translation you learn how to be sensitive and respect other people's feelings. You start understanding many things you could not notice before. You perceive the existence of a secret psychological reality behind all social masks.

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Letter From the Sufferer of Anxiety and Depression

Dear John,

I wanted to reach out to you as a friend. I can not grasp how I feel just now. All is just sorrow, but in an anti-feeling kind of way. Not that I'm 'sad' all the time. I just do not know how to describe this kind of spiritual wasteland I'm in. I can not operate with any emotional confidence, and waking, that's just the most horrible thought, from the only serenity I have at present, which is sleep.

I had hoped to visit you, but alas, I can not hope to leave home today. Today it's just all too hard. I find myself sunken into a lounge chair or lying on my bed – for hours. I feel immobilized and the very thought of venturing out today polarizes me into the beginnings of what I've told is a panic attack.

Not all my days at present are like today, though. Some days I feel capable of doing a few hours work, but not a full day. That would be exhausting. My mind wants to tell me off; to criticize me for being lazy. Some of my family thinks I'm lazy. They do not understand, yet, in a harsh moment, I too find myself coming down hard, and then I really berate myself. Then it's tears of despair! When will I ever claw my way out of this dark abyss?

I would ask you to visit with me, but I do not even think I've got the energy for that. I certainly could not 'entertain' you.

I fashioned this little poem:

Energy and passion,
Where O where are you,
Without you both around,
I can not know what's true!

You can see I'm really struggling, John. But I do not want your sympathy. I do want to express myself, though. I find I can not hold it back – the want to be understood. I hope you can understand. But can I expect you to understand? Not sure on that front. You can see what my mind's doing. My mind has lost all its confidence and my heart is very weak.

Anyways, I've taken up enough space in your life right now. Thanks for reading.




Friends of the depressed and anxious are a God-send. They bring tidings of space, the capacity to listen, they quiet affirm, and they allow themselves to be consumed for their ailing friend while they are there. In this way they lend some of their own strength, which is love.

© 2014 SJ Wickham.

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Divining the Purpose of Depression

“That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful.”
~ Elizabeth Wurtzel

Oh God if you are real,
Please help me now to feel,
I can not describe this pain,
It's impossible to see sight of gain!
That's what's worst about this fog,
I can not get out of this bog,
But if you were to show me you're real,
Then I'd finally be able to feel.


DEPRESSION is that horrible exercise of mental, emotional, and spiritual torment. Add to it the double whammy: depression with anxiety. How often these two go together as if in a waltz through hell!

As if it is not bad enough to be swallowed whole by such a sapping of energy as depression, to be racked with fear of unexplained proportions and source is sincerely maddening.

The downdraft of depression is a horrendous reality. To think we are not through it yet is harrowing. How is it that life has become so unlivable? Just that thought, in itself, consumes so much energy. Energy we do not have!


Whether we would call it a fog, a bog, or haze is probably beside the point. There is just no clarity, no purpose, and no rational reason for why life is as it is just now. It is frustrating and angering, if only we had the strength to be angry or the emotional capacity to feel angry. Yet, somehow, anger overwhelms us at the least convenient moment.

Finding hope in the haze can seem impossible, but perhaps the hope we need is to be founded on a purpose that will soon transcend us.

We have to hope that there is a purpose in this depression.

We can not afford not to have hope. But to hope this way requires faith, and a steady-enough resolve, which of its own requires strength. We need to pray for strength; for the resilience to hold extraneous moments in hope.


Could it be that the purpose of depression is to show us an ever-present weakness that threatens every human being? Until we have battled this scourge we do not know what we're talking about. But then, afterwards, we are granted wisdom as a prize for having not given up.


The downdraft of depression is a wild ride through such debilitating illness as to feel truly abandoned and helpless. But such an experience bereft of the blessings of God is never wasted. God is using it, prodding at our weakness, so that we might know the bountiful nature of his grace.

© 2014 SJ Wickham.

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Understand What Stresses You Before Finding Resolution

Stress may affect individuals in many ways and these may pose effect on their personal and professional life. Regardless of the things or event that stresses you, it is more important to have the willingness and determination to overcome them. It is essential to understand what stresses you because it is only then that you will be able to move forward and avoid these stressful things or events completely. The following might be one of the causes of stress affecting many individuals these days:



Heavy workloads are just one of the many things that cause individuals' stress. Work stress and pressures are common these days and experienced by many employees and working professionals. Doing tons of work on longer period of time, meeting deadlines and many other work related issues can trigger stress.

Work can cause stress if you are already unhappy with it or you are given heavy workloads and too much responsibility. Other factors that can cause stress in work are poor management, unclear work expectations, lack of right and involvement in making decisions and more. Working under pressure and complicated conditions and experiencing discrimination also trigger stress.

Money Matters

Financial issues are what stresses man y people and these are one among the many factors that can really cause headaches if not properly addressed. In some instances, individuals are left in stressful and hopeless situations because they are left with no means during the time that they are in need for money. In other cases, limited budget is also what causes stress. There might be source of income but the amount of money earned may not be enough to cover the growing needs.

Family Problems

Problems and conflicts within the family are also what cause stress. Living in one roof where harmony and strong family ties no longer prevails can really be stressful and devastating. Having arguments with your parents and siblings does not just stress you out but also affects you emotionally. Family problems can also interfere with your normal and usual function at home or in the workplace.

Complicated Relationship

One of the most common things that trigger stress is complicated relationships. Unfaithful partner and many other relationship issues tend to break couples apart and these leads to never-ending stress.

There are more other real-life scenarios that cause stress and hopelessness to individuals. The things that generally stop individuals from living happy and satisfying life that they are dreaming of are the following:

Loved one's death
Heavy financial obligations
Lack of job
Injury or chronic illness
Emotional problems such as anger, grief, anger, depression, low self-confidence and guilt.

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Poor Posture, Poor Me: The Posture Depression Connection

This is a follow-up article to the first part of a depression article I wrote not long ago. In the last content piece I talked about how, in my experience, a particular post is characteristic of everyone who has suffered with depression. The posture that I am referring to is one in which there's an increase in the curve involving the portion of the spell in the area behind the heart and the area in front of the heart is pinched off.

The main reason body posture is so significant is because there exists a direct relationship between our posture and the diversity and depth of emotional expression that is possible. In the case of depression, what happens is energetic information needs to flow up through our column but it's being kept, by the shape of our spine, from flowing through the heart center. As soon as the energetic information gets to the heart, it is being pushed back down by the body posture. When energy is being redirected down like that, it's as if we are being pushed down into the dirt, so to speak. The possibilities for emotion become restricted to a lot of despair, dejection, feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. These emotions have a serious amount of momentum that is challenging to counteract. A feedback loop is generated in which the shape of our spine and the depression are supporting each other.

Our body and life is always wanting to illuminate the solution through symptoms. It's always an option to go toward the pain, or the depression, in this instance. If one goes toward the depression, it's possible to have a complete experience of the sensations, thoughts and emotions that go along with the depression. However, that might not be so realistic if we have a family or a job, and so on, but it is one solution. If we had a complete experience of the sensations, thoughts and emotions that go along with depression, sooner or later all of the energetic information that was being held in that depressive sense of self would be liberated. The energy that was bound in the depressive sense of self would become buoyant and start rising up the spine.

At the point where the energy that was involted with the depressive sense of self starts to move up the spine, however, that energy would start to wash into that energetic information which has been stored in the area behind the heart. At that point we'd be invited to metabolize the layers of stuck energy in the area of ​​the heart. Shame, guilt, rage and grief are generally the flavors of undigested energetic information being sequested around the heart center. When we are dealing with depression and its symptoms, we are really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Our choices are despair, dejection, feelings of inadequacy and hoplessness, or guilt, shame, grief and rage.

It's obvious to me why prescription medication is pretty popular, because what prescription does it take the edge off of all those strong feelings. This can be a good thing, short-term, because it gives people a reply from the oppressive emotions so they can create some movement in their bodies and lives. It's not a very good permanent strategy for a few reasons. First of all, our nervous system builds a tolerance to those anti-depression medications and eventually we've needed more medication to have the same effect. Furthermore, emotions exist on a continuum and they are all connected together. When we dampen or restrict the range of the emotions that we can feel on the negative end of the spectrum, it also restricts the range of the emotions that we are capable of feeling on the positive end of the spectrum. So if we limit our ability to feel shame or grief, it necessarily decrees our ability to really feel joy or satisfaction, or love, for that matter. Finally, emotion is the spice of life. Our Soul utilizes emotion to direct us in life. It is vital that we are aware of what excites us since that tells us which direction to go in life. If that emotion is not present we can feel lost and without direction. Our lives can be less fulfilling if emotion is not present.

The truth is that in order to heal depression we're going to have to feel through the sensations, thoughts and emotions associated with depression. This requires inviting the nervous system out of survival mode and inviting life force energy into the heart so that we can make contact with the energetic information there. It is possible to do this in a manner that is not too destructive to one's life. If we can draw your nervous system out of defense, we can start to invite life force energy up through the heart in such a manner that you can integrate the previously sequested energy into one's life. As that energetic information from the area around the heart center is integrated and you start to give yourself permission to feel the emotions that are around the heart, the body post changes, as well. The shifts that occur subsequently, represent a sustainable, permanent transformation in a person's body and life.

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What Do Hypnosis and Music Have in Common?

I rarely listen to music while I drive. There are two main reasons: 1) I usually have something going on with a client, or client company, and I use drive-time to let things ruminate and 2) most people use music to drown out what their thoughts are. Personally, I want to know what's going on in there! Recently, I decided to listen to music and was singing the words to a favorite song of mine when it came on the radio. I thought myself singing the words, “I'm a loser baby, so why do not you kill me.” It suddenly occurred to me, “What am I programming my mind to think?” This caused me to shut the radio off and think about all of the words to various songs, which I sing without thinking about the words I'm singing.

In some research I did a while back on interrogation tactics used by the CIA and similar government entities of many other countries, one of the best ways to break down people's minds and reprogram them to play music with a constant beat with the same words being repeated over-and-over. If colored lights that flash off-and-on are added, that much better. If drugs and / or alcohol are thrown into the mix, then that all but guarantees success in … BRAINWASHING !!! Studies have shown that people that are otherwise make good decisions will have with wreckless abandon. Using this method, people that were once staunch patriots become traitors of their own country and encourage others to join them. Panamanian President Manuel Noriega was driven from his hiding place by the CIA when they used loud rock hard day-and-night for several days because it was literally driving him insane.

With that background, think about how often you sing along to songs and do not think about the words you're feeding into your mind. I wonder, are you aware (most people are not) that when you say or that words this is a form of self-hypnosis? I'm not saying you should not listen or sing along to music. What I am saying is that it would be more helpful and powerful for you to consciously consider what you listen and sing to. Once you make this change, you are now choosing what your mind is feeding on and, therefore, what you are programming your mind to think.

If you really want to take control of your life, then take the time to become responsible and accountable for what you allow to enter your mind. Think about that for a moment. Do you really want to be at the mercy of the moods and concepts presented to you by your radio, CD's, and MP3's? Do you really want to feel like a “loser”, to be on “the highway to hell”, or repeat the words “rape me” over and over? The temptation here is the way the songs sound. That great beat and resounding chorus bring up emotions that you identify with. But, the truth is that there is a cumulative effect to listening to negative words. You developed an entire library in your subconscious mind of disempowering phrases that play over and over through your day. With all the research I've done on the mind and the work I do with people every day, I still become amazed at how a single work or note can cause the lyrics of an entire song to come back to mind, even though it may have been 5, 10, or 20 years since I've heard it!

I'm always amazed by people who say “I can not be hypnotized” or “I do not believe in that crap” yet they have a hypnotic library in their heads which plays through the day and programs them to be “losers, “etc. These people are already in hypnosis and every time they sing along to a “cool song” with negative words that reinforce this belief and thought pattern.

So, as an intelligent reader, I invite you to quit doing what your music tells you to do. I invite you to no longer be at the mercy of what others want you to hear. I encourage you to think of your mind like the radio stations that you program to play only the songs you want to hear. You do not have to listen to any song that you do not choose. If you hear a disempowering song, turn he station, literally, or change the 'channel' in your mind. Sad songs about down-an-out people sound sooooo good when you're feeling down yourself. It feels good to have someone else meet you when you're neck-deep in pain and suffereing, does not it? But, do you know what sounds would make you feel even better? – Living life on YOUR terms with YOUR ideas, and achieving all of your goals.

Take charge of your life now! Live it on your terms and answer to be at the mercy of others' messages. Think your own thoughts. BE POWERFUL! Stop simply singing along. Instead, live an intelligent life, an intentional life, that moves you towards your goals !!!

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3 Natural Ways To Beat Depression That You’ve Probably Never Heard Of!

I've been on almost every anti-depressant on the market at some point or another. I know the side-effects which is why I turned to more natural approaches to beating my depression and desensitizing myself to the public.

Now, I still take an anti-depressant but the dose is so low now that in a few more months I'm going to try to go without them.

Of course, you can take supplements, you can develop goals to strive for each day, or even jog or run yourself into a mad craze just so you feel those endorphines. The approach one uses to reach recovery from depression is completely individualistic and usually requires some trial and error.

However, I'm going to suggest 3 specific things you can do that you probably have not heard of before. Here they are:

1. Develop a system for yourself. This is different than a goal. Goals have end points where systems are on going. They grow and evolve with you instead of ending at a certain point. I found this preferred because I saw progress in lowering my depression much sooner than setting a goal for myself and I got instant gratification as well.

You start a system by picking one thing you enjoy doing and build activities and events that need to be done around it. After that is completed, connect those activities and events to something else you enjoy or want to try. This creates a cycle. Soon you'll have a system that takes up 1/2 your day. If you want, you can extend it to a full day right up to bedtime.

Now, understand something here. A system is different than a routine. A routine you do things wherever you want to or not and much of the time routines become unconscious.

Systems are consciously created and given back to you because at its core your natural interests are being engaged not just things you have to do.

2. The second thing you can do is practice hatha yoga to reduce depression. This particular type of yoga is mainstream in our culture. There's a reason why I suggest it. It works!

– It teaches you to listen to your body and to be mindful of your breathing.
– It trains your mind to slow down due to the slower paced movements.
– One of the health benefits is that it releases endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals serotonin and dopamine.
– Almost anyone can do this and you can be at any fitness level.

3. Finally, the last suggestion I have that you may not have thought of is going to sporting or public events. Why? The people there have the intention to have a great time and usually are in good moods. You can start off small. Go to a library event or museum. Doing this will start desensitizing you from people and public surroundings.

The energy that is created at these places will rub off on you and affect you in positive ways if you keep an open mind about it. Occasionally, if you continue to go to those events you'll begin to pick-up or start conversations with people. Maybe make new friends? Or get a good laugh? Desensitizing can create many possibilities.

Try these 3 ideas out first before you seek trying an anti-depressants. Give at least one of them a good month's try. It's just 30 days. I'm willing to bet using one or all 3 of these can help with your depression levels and lower it to a point where you can enjoy life again. They worked for me, so I'm just passin 'it along. They just might help you too!

Until Next Time.

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What To Do If You Have It All But Are Still Anxious Or Depressed

When I counsel people with depression and anxiety, they often say that they do not understand why they feel depressed or anxious. People who have a good job, a good loving family, and enough money get confused over their feelings. Consequentially they do not get any sympathy form their friends or family because they do not understand it either. The client then feels guilty for feeling depressed and anxious which makes the unwanted feelings worse.

The first thing to consider is that they might have an organic problem, or a chemical imbalance in the brain. Depression can be caused by a lack of serotonin or dopamine in the brain. These naturally occurring chemicals make us feel good. If we did not have serotonin then the everyday tasks we perform, such as driving to work or paying bills would be so depressing that we would start crying at the thought of doing them. Severely depressed people often experience this. Without dopamine we would never get excited about a vacation, a night out, or good news. If this is happening to you you may need medication. Anxiety can be caused when certain chemicals are not shut off and the brain continues to produce them, consequentially you do not calm down from the anxiety.

Perhaps surprisingly, there can be negative aspects of having what you want. Anxiety, and even anger can increase when you start a new job if the job is stressful. It can increase when you have a new baby because you worry about their care and safety. Often when you encounter your fears over a period of time they decrease as you repeatedly see that the baby is safe and you are faring well on your job. If this is not happening then your anxiety is understandable.

One reason people go to therapy is they have obsessive thoughts about potential danger (anxiety) or obsessive thoughts that life is no good (depression). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps you understand why you hold on to the thoughts, and continue to feel depressed or anxious. When you understand why you feel the way you do, you stop feeling guilty about it. Feeling guilty can exacerbate the depression.

Another challenge when you feel depressed and anxious is getting the people in your life to stop questioning why you feel that way. You probably get tired of hearing “Look at all that you have, get over it”. Sometimes your spouse will question why they are not making you happier, then you feel worse. If you explain that it is chemical and you will take medicines, or your therapist is helping you that could lead to understanding. If you are in therapy the therapist could urge you to bring family members into the session to help them understand. NAMI is an organization that has support groups for family members to understand mental illness. You are not alone if you have the illness or if someone in your family does.

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A Different Perspective on Victimhood

You hear it all the time. Someone gets angry and dissatisfied with someone else and the person who they are upset with is the victim, by most standard. Here is an important question. Why would someone who is happy and content want to abuse another? It just does not make sense. Let's take some less serious examples and move on to more serious abusive accidents.

I have counseled many parents who judge their children's grades, friends. and activity choices. Some have yelled at their child and the child just shuts down more than they have before which decreases the chances that they will do what the parent wants, and increase rebellious behavior. I have even heard that parents have had fantasies of strangling their children simply because of the grades. While it may seem that the child is a victim of an abusive parent, the parent is making him / herself the victim by being angry and dissatisfied. If the parent handled it in a more caring way than thinking only of what they want, they would not be the victim and the child would more likely work harder and feel better about school. Then there would be no victim.

Sometimes parents just want their child different from what they are. There is the classic example of the son who is good in music and plays the piano but his father wants him to play football because he is a boy. If the son pursues his passion and plays piano and the father seethed with rage who is the victim? In this case the father.

Dissatisfaction is prevalent in relationships and marriages. Imagine the woman wants the man to be able to multitask better and to listen to her more. Even if the man puts forth the effort but does not succeed to her standards he is only the victim if he gets upset with himself. If she continue to be angry and he feels good that he did his best then he is not the victim.They both win if they decide to break up and pursue other people. It may seem sad at first when they break up but it gives them the opportunity to pursue other partners who may be more appropriate.

What about more serious examples, such as a rape victim. Certainly the one who was raped is the victim while they go through the traumatic feelings. However, if they are in therapy they are not the victim because they're getting help and re building their self esteem, happiness, and their life. If the perpetrator is in jail then they are the victim. Even if they get a good attorney and are exonerated they must have been unhappy, angry, and frustrated to have committed the offense.

From these examples, you can see that the person who gets angry and upset .. It is not necessarily the person who receive the maltreatment .. With some good cognitive therapy a person can learn to not get upset even when someone is trying to give them a hard time. I believe that happiness is a choice. Being the victim is your choice.

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Disempowering the Shame of Past

“Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.”
~ Brené Brown

Tricked into isolation,
It's the shame for our sin,
Overcome it by testifying,
Then God lets the light in.

One thing I quickly learned in the AA Fellowship was the positive power of sharing my story. As I shared with a sponsor or with the gathered crowd at a meeting, those ten minutes or one hour or longer time period was a platform for the disempowering of my shame. What I brought into the light then had no more power over me in the dark.

I learned that by testifying to some 'shameful truths' those facts about me would no longer be a discourishment. Of course, a big part of the passage God's light in these situations was the validation of loving people who listened and affirmed.

We all have some things we are ashamed of; things we feel regret for; things we wish we had not done or had done differently.

When we think about God's purpose for shame we quickly understand that this sense of purgatory was never meant to remain with us.

God's purpose for shame is simply to motivate us to repent; that can be done in a moment. But we may have suffered shame for years. And we know who is behind it. It is Satan – the enemy of souls.


So it is clear how we are to disempower the shame of the past. We must have the courage to open up and share, but we should only open up with those who are trusted and trustworthy. Opening up before people who may judge and condemn will only drive our shame deer and further from the God of our help.

Instead, we can open up and share liberally with someone who is in touch with God's grace; who knows intimately their own personal need of such grace.

When, as the listener, we are in touch with our own sinful nature, we are astounded and amazed at how much we may hear that will not shock us. When people's hearts are filled with compassion God enlarges the capacity for love and acceptance is the default.


There are two steps in disempowering the shame of past: 1. Find a trustworthy person (a counselor or mentor) to share with, 2. And, with courage, make the effort to share. Your testimony will be met with loving acceptance.


When people's hearts are filled with compassion God enlarges the capacity for love and acceptance is the default. Shame withers and is found without substance when it's met with the compassion of God's healing grace.

© 2014 SJ Wickham.

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